Windows Will Become the Most Secure OS in History

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Two weeks ago, I exposed the "Top Ten Bad Tech Predictions for 2009" -- predictions made a year ago that turned out to be, well, less-than-true.

These brave prognosticators aren't the only ones who can make bad predictions. Behold! My 20 Bad Predictions for 2010!:

1. Apple will change the name of the "iPod Touch" to the "iTouch," because everyone calls it that anyway. The new tagline for the "iTouch," will be: "Just like an iPhone, but without AT&T!"

2. Apple will name its new tablet, the "iTouch Me." It will be just like an iPhone in every way, but more so. The tablet will feature a 10-inch screen, hold 600 gigabytes of data and get 20 minutes of battery life.

3. Windows 7 will be hammered by so many viruses, Trojans and malware that Microsoft will issue a patch that turns Windows 7 back into Windows Vista. Users will hate it, but so will malware authors, and it will become the most secure operating system in history.

4. Facebook will kill everything. In 2009, Facebook servers processed a whopping 25 terabytes of data per day, mostly pictures. As photo file sizes get larger (due to ever larger pixel counts in digital cameras), and users get both more numerous and active, Facebook will be hit with so much data that a space-time singularity will spontaneously occur that swallows the universe.

5. The number of iPhone apps will exceed the number of iPhone users. The best-selling app will be one that deletes apps.

6. The number of Android phones will exceed the number of Android users.

7. The number of Palm phones will also exceed the number of Palm phone users. Unfortunately, Palm will have only two phones.

For the rest of Mike's predictions, visit the original column at our sister site, Datamation.